rya'n'daphne

a year and more

on being poor

We left our Cambodia home 8 months ago, that land of endless green growing rice, of water, of simple shade sitting or escaping the sun in a hammock.  Thoughout our 3 years of working and living in Cambodia we were faced daily with poverty.  The kind of poverty where farmers have just barely enough food for the next meal of rice and fish.  The kind of poverty where even the hardest working student can't make it to secondary school without an extra "donation" to her teacher.  The kind of poverty where hard working adults who are eager to work simply cannot earn enough income for their families; capable adults, left humiliated.  Poverty resulting from years of conflict, families broken apart, land grabbed by greedy hands, pride, fear.  Poverty that leads the poor to believe they have little to hope for and nothing to contribute. 

When we left our Cambodia home 8 months ago, 5 suitcases and our teething 4 month old in tow, we did next expect our first year back in America to be so defined by our own need for jobs, income, food, a home.  We have spent 8 months pleading with God to provide, eeking by on little or no income, living for months on end with family members, selfishly longing to unpack our boxes.  As another month of unknowns slowly ticks by, and as we wonder and ask God why, I must acknowledge all I am learning.  And this is what I wonder the most: in these 8 months - even as we're checking out at the grocery store with food stamps - why have I never felt poor?

I have spent 14 years of my life learning about poverty.  Reading about it, writing papers about it, interning, serving, working.  Wrestling with the complexities of poverty and development.  Studying God's words which compel us to give, share, feed, clothe, show mercy and compassion.  I see and understand poverty as not simply a lack of things.  (Which of course then implies that our response is not as simple as merely giving things.)  True poverty comes from really messed up relationships.  From family members who don't care to extend generosity to a sibling or son in need.  From one ethnic group's insistance that they are more deserving over another.  From a farmer's lack of relationship with the land he cultivates.  From a widow's inability to see herself as fully human.  From a hardness inhibiting commune with a God who does care and does long for restored relationships.

This is why I can look in my wallet and still say: I am not poor.  We have been overly abundantly provided for by the safety net of family.  We have been surrounded by the prayers of friends.  We still see ourselves as (mostly) capable adults who do have things to contribute.  We see God - clearly - as the One who calls and calls us to Him.  We have nothing to fear.

And while I give thanks for these riches, hardly a day has passed these last 8 months that I don't acknowledge my place of priviledge, and grow more acutely aware of this world's needs.  I think about the widow in our church small group in Prey Veng, sitting in her tiny tin home, barely scraping together enough food for 3 grandchildren.  I ache for her.

I wonder how she sees God providing for her. 

I wonder what He will continue to ask of us.

***

Note: I should clarify that my use of "poverty" in this post refers specifically to physical poverty.  Similar vocab can of course be used to describe spiritual brokenness and need for redemption.  And in that sense, we are all indeed quite poor.

For further reading, Ryan and I recommend this book.

8 & 9 & 10 months old

international women's day

Today is a day we celebrate women, the ways in which we have been empowered, and the work being done to further encourage a voice for those most marginalized.  On a day like today (and really, on any given day in the world of non-profits and community development) it's easy to toss around terms like empowerment.  As if it's something proudly offered to someone "needy".

But what I learned in Cambodia (and am continuing to learn) is this: God is already at work in each of us.  He has created each with hopes gifts skills capabilities dreams for our families and communities.  Empowerment doesn't happen when we "give" it to someone.  It happens when we affirm those things already within.

This is a story about Jesus and a woman. 

Jesus was journeying from Judea to Galilee, and decidedly passes through Samaria.  Around noon he is tired and thirsty and stops for a rest at Jacob's well.  A Samaritan woman approaches to draw water.  She is a Samaritan.  Woman.  With a pretty shady past.  But Jesus talks to her.

Samaritan Woman at the Well, by He Qi (China)

And when Jesus speaks, He does not immediately offer her living water (which He later does).  He does not run into this encounter by assuming she has nothing to give.  He sees her water jug and asks her for water.  He affirms what she has to offer, simple as it is.

The woman is taken back.  An upright Jewish man would never drink water from the same cup as a Samaritan woman.  But Jesus sees past these barriers, talks with her as if she was a person of value (which indeed He created her to be), and in a rare moment during His ministry chooses to reveal to her His own identity: Messiah.

The woman returns to her community, transformed, and John tells us that many more became believers because of this woman's testimony.

Jesus saw what was already there - despite all her brokenness - and she is empowered.

In Cambodia I had the priviledge of hearing the stories of many women who had been empowered through a similar model.  There is Sreyrath who had always had a desire to learn about sewing and tailoring but who, as one of 7 children in a very poor family being raised by a widowed mother, never had the finances to take classes.  When the partner organization I (through MCC) worked with began a sewing and tailoring vocational training program for high school students, Sreyrath was thrilled.  She was selected as a participant, based on her economic situation and her already-present interest in the subject.

Sreyrath sewing an outfit for one of her customers.

I visited Sreyrath in her family's tiny thatched home last year.  The 9th grader was only 4 months in to her year-long sewing program, and laboriously transplanted rice in her neighbors' fields each day after school until she had saved enough money to purchase her own sewing machine.  Sreyrath had just opened her own tailoring business upon our visit, and already had 3 orders from customers in her village.  She is confidently that her family will no longer be so poor because she is able to earn income through meaningful work.

People saw the interest and gifts and entrapreneurial spirit she had, affirmed it within her, provided her with the resources, and Sreyrath was empowered.

{stay tuned for more Cambodia stories, coming soon}

maya at 5, 6 & 7 months

maya at the market

warning: this video is long. for die-hard fans of maya and/or the prey veng market and/or anthropological comparisons of reactions to foreign babies, only.

(and yes, we we will miss this spot of prey veng where we bought most of our food for the past 3 years!)

 

4 months

four month skillz

Now that Maya is a whole entire 4 months old, she has a few new skill sets.  Like blowing drool bubbles.  And rolling from her back to her front.  Over the past month she has also developd the skill of waking up at all odd hours of the night, making mommy and daddy QUITE tired.  Some days my only thoughts (and google searches) are "how make baby sleep" and "stop thrashing" and "should stop eat dairy?" or "is baby really hungry when wakes up 7th time?".  When what should probably be occupying my thoughts is our final week in Prey Veng.  Our last 2 weeks in Cambodia.  Saying goodbyes and checking off the last of our bucket list.  Finding new jobs and a new place to live. 

Life is a wee bit exhausting right now.  But then Maya smiles, and laughs, and rolls, and life is going to be just fine again. 

His mercies are new each morning.

malaysia

One of the most awesome parts of living in Cambodia the past 3 years is the opportunities we've had to travel throughout the region (thank you, Air Asia, for such great deals!).  Suffice it to say that international vacations probably won't be in our budget for the upcoming year : )

So, we snuck in a quick final trip to Malaysia last weekend with our friends Steve, Aime and Aya.  There was COLD weather, my friends.  Like, so cold you had to wear a fleece in the evenings!  We're talking around 60-degree-coldness.  Burr!  And there were strawberries for picking.  And topsy turvey tea plantations.  Hiking slick mountain trails.  Starbucks with Christmas lattes.  And some of the best and cheapest food...ever (i.e. not Starbucks). 

Maya was a champ.  Actually, she seemed to be happier on the move - returning strangers' smiles, intrigued by all the sights, and much more easily lulled to sleep in a car or in a carrier than the usual nap-time antics.  We will SO miss our Asia adventures...although the lure of cool weather and forested hikes back in the States sounds (almost) just as appealing these days.

3 months

how to vacation with baby

[ undercover feedings, impromtu cribs, slick diaper changes, an excellent baby carrier, and amazing friends with loads of patience ]

[ exhausting?  indeed.  but lots of fun?  of course. ]

[ final thought: will american restaurants allow us to rearrange their furniture and plop our babies wherever we want, and will the staff offer *free* babycare as we eat??  thank you cambodia! ]

giggles

learning

the king

Some of you may have heard that Cambodia's former king Norodom Sihanouk passed away last week.  Despite a checkered history, it was he who led Cambodia to independence from French rule, and has perhaps remained the Kingdom's most prominant and symbolic figure.  I wish we could have been in Phnom Penh to be among the thousands who came to welcome his body back to the Royal Palace.  To be part of the emotion that has flooded the country.

Here in Prey Veng, people were glued to their TVs.  Ming Sarun told us she felt so sad watching the ceremonies that she couldn't eat.  All funny TV shows and movies have been banned for a week.  On Sunday our church deliberately played only accoustic music rather than the typical super-amplified set.  A picture of the king was displayed modestly at the front of the room, swathed with black satin.  Small pieces of black ribbon pinned neatly on shirts. 

In a nation were, from my foreigner perspective, it seems like so many feelings remain hidden beneath a will to survive and a fear of offending, I am reminded of the depth of emotion an entire nation can feel, even for a man who most have never met.

family pic

stories from mesang

Our MCC colleague, Michael, recently put together these two videos that highlight some of the work of my partner organization, ODOV.  ODOV works in the very rural Mesang district of Prey Veng.  I am so impressed by the impact they are having on the lives of rural farmers, and am pleased to share these brief glimpses with you: 

 

rock'n'rollin

maya talks with daddy

bookish

baby yoga